Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Good times are upon us!

13th April: Computer Application
16th April: English
19th April: Art and Architecture

Yes! Exams are finally here! Personally, this is my favourite month of the year because its that tiny cusp week where I don't need to worry about using my summer vacation productively, and at the same time don't need to worry about attendance and the steady labour of daily routine. You see, if it were holidays, I'd have to worry about summer internships and frequent whispering from Amma and Papa to do more than just watch movies. If it were college, then I would need to attend college and hence, wouldn't have too much time for myself.

But its...study holidays! Watching movies becomes reference reading, and watching obnoxious youtube clips becomes the short five-minute break from reference reading!

However, just a couple of minutes into my third movie of the day, I feel this pang of guilt: a worm-like thought disguises itself in the garb of righteousness and squirms its way into my brain. That little worm slowly grows, feeding on doubt, until I'm unable to concentrate on the movie. I can see the visuals on screen and I can see the gentle build-up of the characters but I cannot connect with the characters. Because I keep thinking, "I could be making these films with the time that I spend in front of this computer and I could be writing these wonderful scripts."

This makes me sad, because that once worm-like thought is now branching (I apologise for the conflicting un-creative metaphors.) out to other more serious doubts: What am I going to do after my degree? Do I really want to make films? Am I good enough for the industry?
I don't have answers, but I'm amazed at the sheer power of that thought. If it can make a post with a title 'Good times are upon us.' so filled with despair, how much more can it do to me if I have to carry it on for the next one year?

I hate doubt.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

A new post?

Yes, I hear myself say. A new post. So what. After approximately a year and a half, Larry has decided to start posting yet again. Reasons arise from a desperate need to 'discover' my innate talent in the art of producing literature, and over a period of time, producing scripts.

Why can't I maintain a healthy blog producing posts at a steady pace of one post a week, I hear myself ask yet again. I mean, I've got everything going for myself, don't I? Think about it, I've got a kick-ass name. Ok, perhaps it isn't kick-ass, but its not as bad as some of the other blogs I've seen. Eat sleep mate blog: (Hmmm.) Makes sense, I think. You know, the whole basic things you do in life should be eating, sleeping mating and blogging...but not necessarily in that order. Mating after sleeping strikes me as being a little strange. Blogging after mating (before sleeping) would be downright weird.
SO. I have a cool name with a tiny subliminal message and everything attached to it.

I've got two followers. TWO. I know of diligent people with a million interesting thoughty posts who can't boast of TWO followers. I have TWO. Arguably, they are Kitch and Susan, but still! TWO followers. Thats got to count for something.

This is enough reason for me to defibrillate this blog for the third time in three years. Normally, I would end with now routine line of thought with a hopeful ending. But this time, I have a feeling of hope, of certainty. Of a feeling that this might just be the last time I'd have to post something like this again. A feeling that I will actually continue to post once a week from now on..

This blogger needs a warm welcome.